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At integrate, we’ve found that the actual barrier to progress and growth in a team is not what you see on the surface level- tensions and conflict arise from deeply seeded internal patterns and interpersonal contracts that continue to play out in our personal lives and in the workplace.

Revealing these patterns and giving them a voice can shift relationships so that team members increase their engagement, are more aligned with the company’s vision and work more productively and collaboratively.

1. Tracking

We start tracking by exploring contracts–the agreements that form the basis by which we give and get things in relationships. These relationships can be between people or between people and institutions. A surface level contract could be simply–“I come to work and I will be paid for my time/effort/production.” Other contracts are more subtle.

Sometimes people choose a less lucrative job because it aligns with their personal values. As long as those values stay aligned, the contract is maintained. When we begin tracking, we ask about your institution's mission and goals. Why do people show up here every day? Is it for a paycheck? Is it for something more?

Tracking is the process we use to explore these contracts. Interpersonal tensions and acts of sabotage are the result of hidden contracts seeking a means of expression. This is because someone feels that an agreement (or contract) has been broken. These contracts are frequently unnamed and unconscious. If they don’t have a healthy outlet to be expressed they will create chaos. At this point, conflict is the initial stage of growth and we ask you to head into the storm.

2. Navigating the

Storm

At the outer levels of the storm, the clash is over whose narrative is right. Unless you go deeper, there will be a winner, a loser, resentments and mistrust. But if you go into the storm, a new narrative emerges.

Seth was struggling with petty arguments among his senior management. When we started tracking, we found that his business was going through a chaotic transition. Although he felt the chaos and uncertainty, Seth tried to project an image of calm. This was his identity as a business leader and his contract was “my employees will trust me if I project a solid image”. Under the surface, an unexpressed feeling was festering. His employees felt the chaos within the company and they knew Seth was not being authentic. They saw through his image and lost trust in his leadership. Their contract with him was “I’ll trust my boss if he’s honest with me”. Because they did not voice this, it came out as petty bickering.

Through hours of tracking, this contract emerged and I pushed Seth to acknowledge the elephant in the room. When he finally broke down and acknowledged the truth of the chaos, and owned his reasons for hiding it, his staff (one by one) met him in this moment of vulnerability and expressed confidence in his leadership and mission. A new contract emerged, one in which Seth’s authenticity was an integral part of his identity as a leader.

3. Integration

Many times, simply the act of voicing a hidden identity is enough to start the process of integration. This is true if the other party is able to really hear what is being said, and if there is not a lot of conflict between the hidden identity and the surface identity. Seth was unconsciously acting out the identity of the “unshakeable leader” that was actually not true to his core self. When his team asked for his honesty, it resonated because that was already a part of his identity and he was able to quickly adapt.

At other times more work needs to be done before integration is possible. In order to Integrate, a truth must emerge that both sides can agree on without resentment. If resentment arises, it is because an identity or contract is not being honored and more tracking must be done. This is a tricky place, as it asks us to explore what contracts we are willing to renegotiate and what contracts we are not. What are our hard boundaries and where are we willing to be flexible? Although it can be difficult, we ask that you explore how conflict can give birth to something deeper.

4. Re-Negotiating

Contracts

Contracts here refer to both a written agreement that we will help create, as well as the agreements that form the structural bonds between people. At INtegrate, we understand conflict and sabotage to be (generally) unconscious expressions by one party that another party is not holding up their end of a contract. By consciously expressing these hidden contracts we will be able to renegotiate them. This means each side clearly advocating for “their side” and exploring what parts they are willing to give to the other side and what they would like in return. In the case mentioned earlier, Seth’s team offered their support of him as a leader in exchange for him acknowledging the truth of their situation. At the end of our session, you will also have a written contract, agreed to by all of your members. Our follow up session will explore how this contract is playing out and potential new contracts that need to emerge.

One of the most surprising things about this process is the way it helps people understand and feel connected to those they normally wouldn’t. There is a softening and a vulnerability that arises naturally through this process, which on its own helps maintain bonds between team members. In Seth’s case, there was a clear emotional bond that was strengthened by this process. His team members had an underlying desire to trust him as a leader and their newfound respect for him gave Seth the confidence to lead the company forward through its transitional chaos.

We work with members of a team or leaders within any organization looking to understand better how every team member brings patterns that from their own experience/background/personality? express themselves through the organization.

This will positively impact how institutions operate by bringing hidden threads (do we ever define threads?) up to conscious awareness because, as we know, an individual’s patterns WILL show up in businesses and teams.